Forgiveness is an act of releasing and allowing someone to escape the grip of the past. In many ways it is a form of absolution, freeing both the person to forgive and the person to be forgiven of any burden. But while it can be a freeing experience, finding forgiveness can be difficult, whether you are trying to forgive yourself or someone else. It often requires a great deal of courage, understanding, and self-reflection. But if you are willing to put in the necessary work, there are steps you can take to help you learn to forgive and move on.
Understand the Reason
Before you can forgive someone else or yourself for past actions, it is important to understand why the event happened in the first place. Whether it is someone close to you or yourself that you need to forgive, it is important to take the time to try to understand where they were coming from and why they acted in the way that they did. Once you understand the reason for the incident, you can begin to more easily accept what happened and move on from it.
Express Your Feelings
It is important to express your feelings in order to really let go of the past. Find a way to share your feelings regarding the incident with the other person, whether it is through talking with them face to face, writing them a letter, or talking to a therapist. Whatever method you choose, expressing yourself will help you let go of the guilt, anger, and resentment that you may be feeling.
Set Boundaries
When you have released the feelings of guilt, anger, or resentment, it may be difficult to decide how you will interact with the other person. Setting boundaries with the other person can help you keep the relationship at a distance while still responsibly upholding your own beliefs and values. It is important to make sure that both parties are clear on the boundaries so resentment does not build up again.
Practice Self-care
Once you have worked through your feelings and set boundaries, it is important to take care of yourself. Self-care can take the form of anything from exercising to reading to spending time in nature. Find whatever activity relaxes you and practice it regularly. This will help you manage stress and regain a sense of inner peace and contentment.
Build a New Path
Lastly, focus on building a new, healthier relationship or mindset. Rather than dwelling on the pain of the past, channel your energy into something positive. Consider taking part in charitable activities or developing a new skill. Remember to take your time and focus on what brings you joy and satisfaction.
Finding forgiveness and learning to move on can be difficult but it is not impossible. Taking the time to understand why the event happened, expressing your feelings, setting boundaries, engaging in self-care, and building a new path for the future are all key steps to finding peace and closure.
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